Sunday 12 March 2017

Just the ticket


I’ve not been writing for six months now. Mum’s gone downhill - hardly surprising after over a decade with Alzheimer's but a shock all the same. I’ve been a bit in denial, thinking it's just a blip. That she’ll suddenly perk up, back to her energetic self. That she won't be constantly exhausted, physically and mentally. That we’ll be able to walk round art galleries, take train trips and rummage in charity shops. Rather than tiny outings followed by a cup of tea and a long lie down. Actually more like a short lie down, more confusion, another lie down, then back to the rest home. 

Yesterday I scooped Mum up and took her shopping. What that means is I drove to the shops and persuaded Mum to struggle out of the car for brief forays into stores. The kind of places Mum used to love to explore. After less than five minutes, Mum’s about to keel over. I ask for the resting chair. It’s simple. If the shop assistant finds one we stay. I might even buy something. If they don't, we leave.

After three shops we give up, deciding to drive to my place for a sit down and a nice cup of tea. “Is there any other sort?” asks Mum.

We approach the house and a sad looking person shuffles, hunchbacked, across the road. “Looks a bit depressed,” I say brightly. I’m driving slowly now, searching for a park.
“I’m depressed,” says Mum.
“Are you?” I say, struggling with the small parking space and a suitable reply. “About what in particular?”
“About the lack of a future,” says Mum.

It seems important not to dismiss this. To stay with it even though I have no idea what to say. I park the car. “It must be hard, being 88 …”
“I’m not depressed about being old. It’s just that … I’m not good at anything anymore.” Mum gazes out the window. “I’ve used up my ticket.”
“Used up your ticket. Used up your ticket!” I can’t stop saying it. I have images of fun fairs and Eurorail passes. Mum gives me a look. “That’s sooo good, ‘You’ve used up your ticket’.” 

We look at each other. “You’re such good company,” I say. Mum smiles and squeezes my arm. And I think about how much Mum loves to see me every Saturday, how she always notices my hair and my clothes, how she picks up on my mood. How she asks about the children realising all the time she has no idea where they live or what they're doing. How, in the moment, Mum has lost none of her conversational spark.

*****

We’ve sat on the sofa, drunk tea and eaten tomato sandwiches. Mum’s preparing to go home, fussing about what she might have brought with her and whether she still has it. She’s not sure where we’re taking her - she’s tired and can't summon the rest home to mind. We’ve been out for less than two hours.

“I’ve had such a lovely day,” says Mum. She kisses my hair.
“So have I.”

10 comments:

  1. Oh sweetness. Your mum is so lovely! We learn so much from her. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Glad you posted. My mom (95) and I sometimes go out for an ice cream cone at the drive-thru and park under a shade tree. One of the best times! I'm going over now to do her meds and change her clocks (daylight savings time). Sounds like you and your mom still have that bond. ❤

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  4. I think I know Eleanor. If not, she is very like someone I do know with a wonderful daughter! Loved reading this anyway.

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  5. Thank you for sharing your Saturday with your Mom. My Mom lives with us and I am learning how to be present with her in this stage of her life.

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  6. Thank you so much.It helps a lot.

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  7. I suffered from this horrible syndrome (ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE)...and it was horrible...for the past 3 years this has taken over pretty much all of my walking moments along with other medical issues. My family/friends have been with me through it all. But Today I am pain free!! I can't even believe how this all happened...I am just as amazed as, my family/friends are...none of us can believe how long I suffered and now in literally a matter of months I am completely pain free.
    How? Well let me tell you.....Months ago my Friend told me about something called ZOMO HERBS....I heard him, but I didn't listen.....I went on just suffering along, Then My friend Raval, talked to my wife about it one night, when I was at my lowest point.....just wanting to give up...this wasn't the way I wanted to live...always in constant pain..Raval said, I will send you ZOMO HERBS..... I started using it and the rest is history my friends, There was a light at the end of the Tunnel... The results were immediate, it did take my pain away, but not completely....it was not until I upped the dosage to 3 times daily that I saw complete results.....NO PAIN.....I became so thrilled over the results that I decide to share my testimony.....If I can help even one person and that person helps one person and so on...we can all be out of pain and regaining our lives back....sound good? I have my life back!!!! I want you to have yours back too! Simply try to reach the doctor on (charantova@gmail.com) for more information about his treatment process or how to get his medicine.

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  8. As a sign of gratitude for how my son was saved from dementia , i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My son suffered dementia and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony of so many people who was cured from dementia and so many other with similar body problem, and they left the contact of the doctor who had the herbal cure to dementia . I never imagined dementia has a cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my son will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my son used it and in one months he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life. dementia has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony

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  9. Kia ora Sarah, aroha mai, I've only just found your blog! I'm tidying up for a party, and came across the details on a card. It was really good, heart-warming and well-written. Ka aroha, sorry to hear your mum is now so low. My mum is now 89 and going strong, but who knows what's around the corner. I want to be there for her too. Take care my friend. xx Heeni

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  10. I can’t forget in a hurry my Mom's horrible years of fight with Mental ailment (Alzheimer). My Mom got really sick around Christmas that year. When I saw her in the hospital with all those tubes, I just lost it. I got so hysterical that I had to be escorted out. Soon after that, I got into that altercation with my neighbor and was sent to jail. When I got out of jail, Her symptoms were acting up and I felt so angry.  Dad had already taken her to a state psychiatric hospital. I was really nervous, but I talked to a psychiatrist there who made me feel comfortable. For the first time, she opened up about what she was experiencing—the voices, not being able to remember things, the paranoia. She said, “Your mom is battling Alzheimer.” I didn’t even know what that meant.

    He suggested that when she got out of the hospital and off the treatments she was taking there, we try a new treatment for Alzheimer. After weighing the risks and benefits, we both agreed the treatment, given through monthly injections, might help control her symptoms. Meanwhile, I made friends, and gained insight into her illness. During the week, there were movies, cooking classes and education sessions about her disease—basically, activities to help people like her get back into society. I learned about Alzheimer and what some of her triggers were. All told, she stayed there for two months and we left, I was taking her for doctor’s appointments and grocery shopping. It was hard, especially when her birthday passed, I still helped her walk, fix her food and dress her which made me sad because she was very active at 69 until the illness struck her.

    I came across a herbal medication sometimes last year called zomo but before we started the treatment, we started a day rehabilitation program, and also started the new medication with zomo. I was working hard to achieve my care goals by following the treatment plan. Her symptoms got under control within three months, as she started feeling better. First she regained interest in the things she used to enjoy, like calling/visiting our family and friends for lunch and going for walks in the park and grocery shopping. I will never forget what I went through, or what it took for her to get here. I don’t take any of it for granted. I consider myself an advocate for people who don’t have any knowledge about this herbal medicine. To anyone who’s taken the time to read this that may be struggling with this awful ailment (Alzheimer), reach out, share, I guarantee you reach out to charantova@gmail.com, and know, that as lonely as you may feel, as hopeless as you believe things are, please know, that there are so many patients out there going through same and you are never alone! reach out to him so you could share your own testimony to let others know there is hope.

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